Uncategorized

If He Wins The Royal Rumble, WWE Hates Us

I’m convinced that WWE hates their audience and in attempt to prove this, the geniuses in creative will likely choose one of the aforementioned to win the Royal Rumble. I will also mention characters that in which they actually do win the Rumble, it opens the door for creative direction after the event, and explain that. Here we go.

Roman Reigns – Creative threw their hands up in the air. It would generate another reaction, (albeit a negative one) but very little hope for the WWE product, hence, WWE hates us if Roman wins.
Braun Strowman – WWE listened to Kunu from Forgetting Sarah Marshall and rode the wave of Strowman. If for some reason he doesn’t win the belt against Kane and Lesnar, and the match is before the Rumble, this is the perfect way to go. It’s actually the way I hope they go.
Matt Hardy – If they plan on fully developing the Woken Matt Hardy character to the level it was in TNA, this is the way I want them to go. He is fully capable of taking the the big leagues by storm and being the beating heart of the WWE with his full platoon.
Rusev – Another decent selection, putting Rusev in a spot that he’s deserved for a long time. Always wanted a high-profile Rusev vs. Lesnar match and Rusev vs. Strowman could be good, the only thing is who do you root for. No hate from creative for a Rusev selection.
Seth Rollins – Break him away from Jordan and Reigns because the Shield reforming was an abject failure, due to not developing reason for the reunion and Dean getting hurt. It sets up Seth vs. heel Dean down the line if that’s how they want to go, and Rollins is truly still a main event guy, but it’s not my favorite choice.
Shinsuke Nakamura – The only thing they can do for Nakamura without just letting him be himself, and winning in singles all the time is winning the Rumble. It would get a diluted reaction, but it would bring international flavor to the WWE Championship and set up Styles vs Shinsuke at Mania. It was done at G1 Climax to perfection, but will WWE wanna bite off G1 Climax? Their pettiness seems too high for that.
Dean Ambrose – Who knows if he’s ready. WWE lies about injuries all the time, but it would be very cool if Reigns is the last one standing and Dean eliminates him.
John Cena – The upper management sees the rest of the WWE characters as hopeless vote. If they go this route, this year is Cena’s last as a full-timer. If you can even call him that. Anyone vs Cena works in a main at Wrestlemania, but it’s same old shit, and WWE hates us if so.

(These are rumored entrants)
Batista – It’s rumored he might come back but with no pre-existing storyline with anyone, who really gives a shit. If they have The Rock come back and do Groot vs. Dr. Smolder Bravestone, I won’t have a problem with it, since most people in WWE are just underdeveloped weak sauce right now. But that’s the only way.
Kurt Angle – WWE hates us. Dude is a cornball.
The Undertaker – Could you imagine? Jesus. Maybe if Kane wins and we get Undertaker vs horror inducing, pyro having, lightning capable Kane one last time at Mania. But it would look like doody and cause mass scrutiny down the line.
Goldberg – Stop it, lol. He might be a better gimmick than anyone but Braun or Matt but come on with this rumor.
Daniel Bryan – I would stop watching WWE until the next PPV if this happens. I know why people like this guy and it’s literally a bunch of kids who got bullied in school who like him. If you hate me after this, I don’t care. Daniel Bryan ruined wrestling for me and made it the pansyhouse it is today.
Shane McMahon – Would be a wild ego stroke, but if it turns him into this cocky mega-heel where he’s vitriolic and causes havoc everywhere he goes with tons of power, I would have no problem with it. Yeah. it’s a cop-out. But I like a story in wrestling.
Finn Balor – I’ll break my TV if this clown wins. It would elevate the Club though, and generate a lot of possible stories, but this dude is just not a main event at Mania guy.
Kevin Owens – Same old shit. WWE hates us.
Sami Zayn – Would be absolutely absurd. WWE hates us.
Jason Jordan – He could benefit, but I think his character is lost in the woods, similar to Ascension after that we’re better than LOD promo.
Sheamus – lol, enough.
Cesaro – He deserves a rub, but is now the time?
Big Cass – I could see him coming back. Nobody would care tomorrow if he won. Needs to be re-developed and I don’t know if he’s likeable or hateable.
Elias – Another solid option. A huge rub, but a solid option. Dude has the it factor.
Goldust – One last hurrah? I don’t know.
Tye Dillinger – In at 10, out at 10. Hopefully. If he wins, they hate us.
Miz – He’s in a good spot right now. Does he deserve a better spot? Probably. But it’s a reach to say he could win the Rumble. I wouldn’t have a problem with it.
Randy Orton – Seriously, what does this do for anyone? WWE hates us.
Apollo Crews – He’s in the graphic, so I’m mentioning him.
Titus O’Neil – lol, WWE HATES us if he wins.
Bray Wyatt – He’s always worthy to me. He can find a way to re-invent himself. Wouldn’t hate it, but it might be stupid if they don’t have any good plans.
Baron Corbin – Very stale guy right now. Won the Andre thingy. There’s people who still like him. I don’t really care, neither would anyone else.
Any guy from NXT or former WWF – Would be fun. I’d be down for a surprise this year.

Sorry to anyone I forgot, but you’re probably not winning, lol.

Follow me: http://www.twitter.com/BucamanWWE

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Television, Uncategorized, Wrestling, WWE, WWF

25 Things WWE Could Have Done Differently at RAW 25

I dedicate this to all fans expressing disappointment with RAW 25 and with WWE in general. MOST ESPECIALLY, I dedicate this to anyone who bought tickets to the Manhattan Center and is not a clown who lucked into dating Noelle, or a Brock Lesnar guy. Not depressed Undertaker guy, (more affectionately known as Autistic Undertaker and his surrogate mom) who were probably at RAW somewhere, standing and clapping when told.

The fans who spent multiple work checks to watch RAW at the Manhattan Center. This is for you. You went for the same reasons I would have. Not for this.

 

Refunds.

I was very excited for RAW 25. Two weeks before RAW 25, I decided setting aside $800 for it was not a fun idea. The excitement could have equated to the best RAW we have ever seen. All of these returns at the same time with weeks to prepare allowed for COUNTLESS possibilities. “WWE can’t possibly screw this up again, can they?” They sure did.

Best entrance music of any return on the show? WWE says, “Let’s cut to commercial three seconds into it”.
Let’s not have any pointless matches? WWE says, “Let’s have Heath Slater and Rhyno fight Titus and Apollo Crews.”
Let’s show how much women can do? WWE says, “Let’s have all the women stand at the ramp and wave.

They could have had a Bret and Shawn segment. They could have had an Undertaker and Mankind segment. @TheEmilJay, proposed a Boogeyman and Scotty 2 Hotty segment, (considering mutual affinity for worms.)

So here it is. Using wrestlers and personalities present for RAW25,

25 Things That Should’ve Fuckin’ Happened at #RAW25

  1. Goldust comes out w/ Terri Runnels (Marlena)
  2. Goldust w/ Marlena interrupts the Undertaker in the Manhattan Center mid-speech, re-creating the epic face-to-face. Goldust gets tombstoned.
  3. Another option, Goldust sits down on commentary next to Booker T at Barclays and they shoot the shit.
  4. Another option, a Terri segment. Terri wants a special night and talks to Dana Brooke all dressed as Alexandra York. Terri lets Dana know about it. Brooke intimidates her, says she’s proud of her job, and whatever she did is in the past. That’s when Marlena finds Goldust, and I KNOW you could set up a stupid Apollo or Titus match with Goldust after that.
  5. Terri and Jacqueline interrupt that segment with the Godfather and Mark Henry when Godfather walks away with his wife. Terri and Jacqueline enter the picture off their exit saying they remember Sexual Chocolate well. But they fight over him. Terri leaves to go find someone else.
  6. Mark Henry w/ Jacqueline vs Goldust w/Marlena (sexual chocolate entrance and cigars entrance, Manhattan Center, obviously)
  7. Trish and Mickie at least look at each other. Ideally have a match, or Trish guest refs a Mickie match.
  8. Brother Love hosts a Newlywed Game with (options) Maria/Mike vs. Miz/Maryse vs. Bryan/Brie vs. Nikki/John vs. Undertaker/McCool vs HHH/Steph
  9. Road Dogg could have said “Your ass better call somebody”
  10. Lillian Garcia could have sang something
  11. Bryan/Regal/Slaughter all former commissioners claim they’re a better commissioner just for it to descend into chaos and be ended by the Boogeyman scaring them or some shit.
  12. Lake of Reincarnation pre-tapes could have brought back an old gimmick of anyone on the show
  13. A new segment of GTV could have been done.
  14. Undertaker could have come face to face with literally anyone on the show and it would have made sense. Especially Kane.
  15. Undertaker could have came in on a motorcycle
  16. Undertaker could have worn old attire
  17. X-Pac could have given someone a bronco buster
  18. Razor could have gave us a razor’s edge. (maybe)
  19. Christian had no 5 second pose. No flash photography. No Brood reference.
  20. Austin could have assumed a role that would continue throughout the show
  21. Austin could have arrived in a vehicle
  22. The New Day could have introduced the returning divas to Booty’O’s and pancakes
  23. Bischoff and Razor could have had a segment shooting about NWO and how this new group, The Club does the Too Sweet thing. This gets interrupted by the Club, who says it’s theirs, because of what it means to them.  This later puts Razor at a crossroads during that post-match Club segment with DX, and he eventually decides to join in with the Too Sweet thing, thus passing the whole “hand/wolf symbol/too sweet” torch.
    24. Torrie could have brand out Chloe and prompted King to exclaim “Puppies”
    25. Most importantly, all returns could have came out to their Attitude Era themes.

There’s more. But this article called for 25. Follow me on Twitter. http://www.twitter.com/BucamanWWE.