Ladies and Gentlemen, Your 2013, NEW, YORK, KNICKS!


What we have all been waiting for. We have all been looking forward to our New York Knicks play their first official game of the 2013-14 season. Well, guess what? ITS NOT HERE YET! 🙂

What we do have, is pre-season basketball. And you WILL get a better taste of what’s to come than you did watching summer league.

Summer league was a little lackluster. Didn’t fill my basketball void. We didn’t see much of Shumpert, very little of Tim Hardaway, Jr., and no Bargnani or Artest. (Yes, Artest.) We also didn’t see the underrated center we pried away from Oklahoma City, Cole Aldrich. Aldrich will be standing in for Amare whenever he’s ruled out. -_-

Generally speaking, the Knicks fanbase says they have a playoff contender with a lot of new pieces and a lot to work on. With Amare’s brittle knees, JR’s knee and postseason/off-season antics, Shumpert’s tender shoulder, Kenyon possibly aging, Andrea being statistically the worst rebounder over 7′ of all-time on a team that needs rebounding, and Ron not caring what you call him anymore (I call him Ron,) there are many, many questions to be answered.

The versatility of the Knicks line-up is a plus. Each player has a defined skill set, of which I hope Woodson is well aware of.

Tonight, at 7:30, the Knicks take the Celtics in Rhode Island. The starting lineups have been announced. Here they are:

PG Pablo Prigioni (our best facilitator)

PG Raymond Felton (a guard who can score)

SF Carmelo Anthony (the star player guy, el Capitan)

PF Andrea Bargnani (I’m scared)

C Tyson Chandler (Prepare for tip-out boards and bites of Kelly Olynyk’s pump-fake)

The Knicks chemistry is my strongest concern. I believe our chemistry is all over the place. I believe everyone on the team will know at least two positions by the end of the year, aside from Prigioni, our facilitator, and Tyson, our tip-out the rebound guy.

I will be writing a follow-up piece tonight, at the end of the game, after South Park, documenting what I gather of the Knicks’ chemistry. As I watch tonight’s game, I will be documenting this rotation that Woody is putting out, and how our style of play changes. I expect the rotation to be a revolving door, so I’ll be busy.

Look out for my post-game piece. I promise educational value and introspect. I’m a decent hype guy, but analyst is my first love. To make up for my shortcomings, here’s a rhyme for each Knick I expect to play tonight:

Ray Felton, compared to Prigs he plays selfish, and I hope he dunks on Rondo for the hell of it
Pablo Prigioni, pumped his fist when the ball was dished to homie, went to the bench and swallowed rigatoni
Carmelo Anthony, out there saying its hard to look after me, got Cheerios but wants Charms, marshmallow fantasies
Andrea Bargnani, knew Mussolini but never was commie, scared of some D, like a girl who never saw her mommy
Tyson Chandler, rebounds the rock but can’t handle her, effort is hilarious, Adam Sandler
Cole Aldrich, gonna dunk on the JET, like he’s the cold hard bitch, then someone’s gonna be his girl, rhyme i like best? so far, this
Metta World Peace is his federal beast but when he’s the best he’s just Ron Artest
Iman Shumpert, when the girl acts up he says fine and dumps her, macks two minutes later, grinds and humps her (lol)
Beno Udrih? ooh kid.. he’s gonna get in the game and show us he do this, making passes, making Celtics foolish
Tim Hardaway Jr, my twitter namesake, he’ll make defenders fall simply from a feigned break

(Kenyon and JR won’t play)

My favorite line-up is Prigioni, Hardaway Jr, Shumpert, Carmelo, and Aldrich. But I’m weird. Let’s see if that happens. Re-tweet this story and the next story out and I’ll owe you a dollar. 🙂


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